Wondering Why On A Rainy, Cold Day
- June 10, 2010
- Category: Daily Diary
- (27) Comments
Thanks everyone for your comments. I will keep you updated on the old barn renovation and I appreciate your interest. We definitely want to preserve the history of the farm. And that brings me to the topic today.
If you don’t live in New England, you perhaps don’t understand the burdensome property taxes we have. And each year they go up. No surprise. We got our bill yesterday and the assessment for my new barn doubled. We thought it was an error and called to check. “No, your barn has been reclassified from a barn to a stable.” “Why?” Mountain Man asks. “Because it has a floor” is the answer. Now, if we had only left it as a dirt floor we’d have a barn. And our land assessment jumped as well so we wonder as we do quite often now why we struggle so hard to hold on to this piece of earth. Why not take the easy way out, sell and leave? Mountain Man has it calculated down to the hour of how much it costs to live on our farm and how hard we have to work every day to pay for it. And as I do, when I’m in need of answers, I head into our woodland.
It’s been a long time since I’ve hiked deep into the woods because of our visiting bear.
“What if he’s out there?” I asked Mountain Man.
“Just sing. That will scare him.”
“Well, he didn’t scare with all the yelling I was doing and it’s mating season now.”
“I doubt he’d find you very interesting. Go live your life.”
That’s what I decided to do. I left the comfort of the wood stove and pulled on my jacket and headed out into the rain, grabbing the fog horn and Logan just in case.
I walk under canopies of green and I can feel my heart lighten.
I set the camera to “sepia” and thought of the past.
The forest has its own sound; never silent, trees soughing, leaves rustling and animals unseen, moving in the underbrush.
On our way home, I feel compelled to visit the graveyard. Logan rests in the water while I contemplate the crossing. I’ll have to balance across the logs if I don’t want to get wet. I accept the challenge. I walk the plank oh so carefully and I’m across.
We make our way through overgrown vegetation. My clothes are soaking wet but I pay no heed.
For I have arrived in my place of refuge where I go when I need to think. A place where those who lived in this beautiful wilderness rest.
And it is here I understand how easy we have it today. Tiny tombstones all over but none more poignant than these; a family’s loss all in a row.
We pay our respects and head home. Down steep hills, through more water crossings.
Back again to our pasture. A doe awaits. She’s been there every day, grazing, playing chase at dusk with the horses.
She runs when she sees Logan.
But not far. She turns and faces us and snorts. A sound I’ve never heard before. “Go away.” she says. “I want to graze.”
We are the intruders in the woods she calls her home.
Back home, into the house, I huddle by the wood stove and soak up its warmth. This is my farm for this moment. I’m privileged to hold it in trust for those who will come after me. And perhaps one day, they too will walk to the graveyard and ask themselves why. And I know if they listen, they will hear the answer.
Great photos.Mountain Man is Right go live your life.I am trying to do judt that as well.
Date: June 10, 2010
Beautifully written. I feel the same way about cherished piece of property, and sometimes wonder why? But then I remember as you do by something as simple as taking a walk. We are living a dream
Date: June 10, 2010
Beautiful post and very poignant. You are caretakers for the future. I feel the same way about our old farmhouse.
Date: June 10, 2010
I share your pain. Up here our taxes doubled last year and we don’t have a barn or even a garage, just a little piece of land. Heck, we even have to maintain our own road
Glad you were able to find refuge in your walk. And that old cemetery is amazing. I love things like that. Do you know any stories behind the people buried there or the dates?
Date: June 10, 2010
Taxes are just beginning to go up. With all the federal government spending we just might find ourselves with value added tax. They will tell you it’s to spend down debt, but in reality it will be to keep our bloated government running. The cities and counties are raising taxes so they can stay in business. That’s really where the buck stops.
You do have some beautiful countryside to enjoy. I can see why you love it so.
Have a terrific day and weekend.
Date: June 10, 2010
I live in NY and know all about taxes too. Praying you find the answers you need and every provision is met for you at your home! :O)
Date: June 10, 2010
I had to read this twice, it was so moving.
I understand your dilemma – the love and reverence you hold for your farm vs the reality of finances. But where there’s a will and a Mountain Man, there’s a way!
How could you leave such a paradise? The deep woods, wild ferns sprouting from the earth, creeks, misty mornings, and deer and scurrying animals.
And you are so right…in spite of the challenges of harsh New England winters, of mud season, and fear of bear attacks, you lead a charmed life when compared with those pioneers of the land.
This is beautiful, and I am nominating it for Post of the Week at the Smitten Image.
Date: June 10, 2010
Beautiful words, I wish you can stay where your heart belongs.
Date: June 10, 2010
Your land is just beautiful! How long have you lived there? It’s a shame property taxes are so high–doubling them is outrageous, but I would think it would be extremely hard to move. I know you love it there, snow, bears and all!
Date: June 10, 2010
such a pretty place you have
taxes are high everwhere that I know of anyway in Nebraska
Date: June 10, 2010
I’m sorry about the property taxes. Those can be a real bear…no pun intended. In Oregon, we do not have sales tax..and so all other taxes tend to be high..including property. I”m looking forward to reading about the barn in future posts…well, anything you write…I look forward to reading
I really enjoyed seeing all the pictures. The ones with the gravestones I thought really interesting. Graveyards have never been a sad place for me…I’m not sure why. I’ve always wondered about the lives those people lived. There’s a pioneer graveyard at the college I attended…and you can see whole families together.
Just out of curiosity, do you know anything about the history of that family there? Were they an old pioneer family?
Your comments about your singing scaring away the bear were really funny. I love the woods. Greetings from Oregon,
Heather
Date: June 10, 2010
I live in Upstate New York. There is no place like New England and New York, it’s just so beautiful, isn’t it? But this beauty comes at such a horrific price. I wish the politicians would go South… waaaay south, like Antarctica. I want to be left alone.
Nice photos.
Date: June 10, 2010
Wonderful post and photos! Glad the bear stayed away. I would hate for you to leave there because I know you love it so. Nothing else could compare to that beautiful mountain top. Kind of like Scarlett and Tara! .
Date: June 10, 2010
Your post was beautiful and poignant at the same time. The pictorial was like walking alongside of you as you made your way through those stunning woods and meadows.
Too bad old Uncle Sam seems to think all us middle to upper middle class Americans have the money to foot their bills. The poor can get aid and the rich have their loopholes and ways to dodge the tax bullets but we in the middle feel the ever tightening squeeze on our pocketbooks.
Date: June 11, 2010
I envy you your ability to just step out the door into that kind of paradise. Your photos are so evocative of the peace and quiet one can only find on a walk in the woods. Stopped by from New England bloggers this morning, thank you for the lovely post.
Date: June 11, 2010
Beautiful post and pictures. We do have to stop and ask ‘why’ sometimes… and it sounds like you went to the right place for answers
Date: June 11, 2010
Mountain Woman I feel your pain. It would be hard to leave a place as beautiful as yours. I hope you and Mountain Man have a wonderful weekend….Maura
Date: June 11, 2010
You know after reading this post I could almost feel your troubled soul and I can certainly understand why you go where you go to think and find answers. I have done the same thing for years.
The woods just seem to comfort us in our time of doubt and confusion. I have been saying “I always feels the most at peace in the woods” and I bet you feel the same when you are on your farm and in the woods.
I sincerely hope you will enjoy this place for quite some time to come. It is a place I wish I always had.
Date: June 12, 2010
lovely post. I love the beauty of the outdoors.
Date: June 12, 2010
WOW such a beautiful pictures, I can almost feel the raindrops from walking beside you. This is paradise to me.
Date: June 15, 2010
What a beautiful post…words and photos flow seamlessly together capturing such poignancy. Such a gorgeous place to call home.
Congrats on your POTW
Hugs
SueAnn
Date: June 16, 2010
Congrats on your POTW from Hilllary. I am glad I stopped by to read it.
Date: June 16, 2010
Congrats on the POTW mention from Hilary .. you have a great blog!
Date: June 16, 2010
What beautiful photographs, accompanied by equally lovely words.
It is worth it, by the way and don’t forget that, please. I don’t think you will but in most cities, and city suburbs people live on lots that are 1/4 of an acre, a 1/3 lot is considered large.
I get the sense you wouldn’t be happy like that. I know people who live on even less, in bigger cities than the one I’m close to. In square footage so small just hearing about it makes my head hurt, my brain itch. In New York City 600 square feet is practically palatial, which is part of the reason I couldn’t live there. The people I know who do talk about how it’s worth it to have that much bustle and activity available to them at all times, and they consider themselves fortunate to have a view of anything other than an air-shaft, and most of them don’t.
I guess wherever we live, we make our trade-offs for whatever will feed our soul. Some people never know what it is that will do that for them, what will bolster up their spirit.
I guess you do it, you work that hard to have that life, because you can take a walk, and know. Maybe that’s it? I don’t know. I do know that you live in a beautiful part of the world, and thank you for sharing it.
Congratulations on your post of the week mention over at Hilary’s blog.
Date: June 16, 2010
I am always so inspired by you and your writing, and even more so with this post (if that is possible). You make me want to live and enjoy my life to its fullest so much. You inspire me to look past the temporary setbacks (and pain). Your love of life and appreciation of the beauty that surrounds you fills my heart with joy, love and appreciation also. Thanks for being you.
Date: June 16, 2010
So easy to see why you would find it impossible to leave such a heavenly place. Such beauty and serenity in your fine photography.
Date: June 17, 2010
I’m sorry about the high taxes. I would have never thought of that, keeping a dirt floor. Could you remove the floor and have them re-do your accessment again? Dirt floors add charm to New England Barns!! I wonder if that would work?
This was a beautiful and heartful post and thank you for sharing.
xxoo
Deborah
Date: June 21, 2010