“Sticks and Stones. . .”
- February 24, 2009
- Category: Daily Diary
- (22) Comments
May Break My Bones, But Words Will Never Hurt Me.”
As a young girl, I used to chant that phrase over and over again. It was my mantra when anything cruel was said. And, as children do, I believed because the words were written, it was true. But it isn’t. I realize that now. Broken bones heal and mend but cruel words linger forever. Ask me about my childhood injuries and I can barely remember them but ask me about what was said and the words have stayed with me; a chorus of “I can’t” etched into my brain. And as an adult, because I understand the power of words, I try to use them judiciously and I filter what comes out of my mouth even more so when it is writing on a page.
Recently, a person I barely know said some cruel things to me. The comments were intended to hurt and they indeed did. The arrow struck its mark and drew blood.
And, just as I did when I was a young child, I tried to figure out what I could have done to engender such mean spiritedness but unlike my childish self, I was able to shake off my funk much more quickly this time . I realize some people don’t need an excuse to be cruel. But, I lost my focus for a few days as I became once again immersed in someone’s opinion of me.
But, one of the advantages of middle age is that we bring a perspective of many years to our life. And, as I went about my chores on the mountain and spent time with the animals entrusted to my care, I let the hurt go. I watched God’s beauty all around me and I saw His work in the snowy landscape. I turned to my Bible for daily prayer and meditation and I read His Word.
Job 10:12:
“You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit.”
How true because God has always been kind to me and I can feel His prescence in my life.
I turned to my blog for solace because it is here that I share my heart and you, my wonderful readers, keep me going. I thought about the economy that is hurting all of us and the struggles we are facing. I had the idea for a small contest and up it went.
And, that contest that started out as a small way to showcase Etsy shops has once again showed me the power of God in my life.
When I received Robynn’s essay, I was immediately drawn to her story. And, although I am not struggling with weight issues at the moment, I was struggling with allowing someone’s words affect my self image.
Why is it we as women are such harsh critics of ourselves? We are so quick to find fault with ourselves, to compare ourselves to others and always we are on the losing end. We can enumerate our flaws and always find more to add to the list but ask us what is good about ourselves and we struggle.
We are sisters, children of God, drawn together by our common struggles, our pain, our joys, our humanity. Let us cherish each other, be good to each other, support each other and change the world for the better one small step at a time. Practice small random acts of kindness, tell someone today they are beautiful. Your words carry more power than you know. Robynn, I thank you for allowing me the privilege of publishing your essay. It was surely God’s plan that led you to my blog that day and at the precise moment in my life, I read what I needed to read.
God works in mysterious ways but He is always at work. Once again, I have learned to let go, to trust His plan for my life and to listen when He speaks.
Jeremiah 29: 11-13:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Wow! What a strong and lovely post. I want to come back and read it again. . . and maybe again.
I never get it when people are intentionally cruel. It never ceases to take my breath away. I’m blunt and direct, but I try not to be cruel. Well, except to myself. My sticks and stones to myself “do” hurt me. Working on stopping that internal meaness is a worthwhile spend of my energy!
May finding lovely women like you–and other “sisters”–help encourage and remind me to do that.
Thanks for the morning sunshine. Have a great day.
Date: February 24, 2009
Well, I came to your blog in a depressed state of mind. After reading your words, all I can say is “Thank-you”.
I tried to post this an hour ago and the computer said this blog didn’t exsist. I’ll try again,now that I’m in a frustrated state of mind!
Date: February 24, 2009
Oh sweetest of women, fair in heart. You touched me again today and God knew where I needed.
I am so bewildered, and in the midst of a subersive sleight. I have only found solace in my peace that surpasses all understanding and through His own souls that tend to uplifting brother and sisters for Him!
Thank you for generating some love to me today.
I send you Love as well!
Kacy
Date: February 24, 2009
So many times when people lash out at others it isn’t that person they are frustrated or angry with, they are simply verbalizing (or writing)something they wish they could say to an entirely different person. An observation I now believe as an adult. I’m glad you have let go of whatever hurtful thing was directed your way.
Date: February 24, 2009
Some people have to hurt others to make themselves feel important. Pay them no mind. I refuse to let anyone steal my joy!
Date: February 24, 2009
Thank you for that. It was inspirational and reminds me that I need to be like a duck with water…..just let it roll off my back.
Date: February 24, 2009
Well, after being chewed out royally this morning over another person who doesn’t even work for me or my company but has an office in the same place…this post was nice.
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com/
Date: February 24, 2009
I’ve been feeling abandoned and even not believing there is a Him above lately…
Jeremiah 29: 11-13:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
I really needed to read that one and have never seen it before….strange coincidence.
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I wouldn’t worry much about the person who was nasty……..now you know exactly what kind of person they are.
Date: February 25, 2009
I taught my kids “sticks and stones may break your bones, but names they hurt forever”. People can be so cruel sometimes, they say things often without knowing all the facts-a snap judgement based on surface items only.
Thank you for the great post and I am so sorry someone was mean to you.
Date: February 25, 2009
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is hurtful when people are cruel to us. But I always remember what my mom used to tell me, she would say don’t let other people block your blessings. She would tell me that when I would let things bother me. So your post reminded me of this. Thanks for the reminder
Date: February 25, 2009
You are a great blogger a wonderful, caring, loving, generous person. A great online friend, a very good photographer (I love the pictures of your mountain)! Your writing is always interesting to read and I am sorry you were hurt. I’ve heard it said that for every hurtful remark, it takes ten good things to make up for it. I hope this comment goes toward making you feel good about yourself!
Date: February 25, 2009
To everyone, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read and comment. I know how difficult it must have been for your with all the Google and blogger problems yesterday and your efforts are so appreciated.
45, please don’t be cruel to yourself. We are such harsh critics of ourselves and that internal voice is very hard to overcome. Tell yourself something affirming every day. Blunt and direct is a good thing. It lets people know where they stand and to me, that is not cruel.
Karen, thanks so much for trying to keep posting. I’m sorry you were depressed and if I helped in any way, my day was worthwhile.
Kacy, I’ll pray for you as you deal with what is bewildering you. Just know you are special and as you were meant to be in God’s eyes.
Cedar, thanks so much for your observation. I do believe in marriages half of the problems come because the spouse lashes out at the other because of frustration at work or somewhere else. Your observation will help us all as we let go of hurt.
Karen, thank you!
Linda, I’m glad you’re back and what a way to return back to work. Thanks for coming back to my blog. I’ve missed you while you were away.
Suzi, thank you. I try to be like a duck too but it takes practice.
Oh, Alan, I just wish I could give you a hug through the computer. I had a feeling something was up when you stopped working on your blogs. I’ll keep you in my prayers and if you ever want to talk, I’m here as all the other wonderful people who visit my blog. Maybe you’d like to write something and let us work through it with you.
Cactus Jack’s Mom, you were so smart to teach your kids that phrase. I’m okay now. Thanks so much for your concern.
Dori, your Mom sounds so wonderful. I can only just begin to imagine how much you must miss her. And, what a beautiful thing to tell you “don’t let someone block your blessings.” I’m going to remember that.
Karen, thanks for always being such a wonderful friend in the blogosphere and yes, you made me feel wonderful.
Be well everyone, have a wonderful day and share your love as you have done so generously with me.
Date: February 25, 2009
This is the first time I have been to your blog and I thank you for such a wonderful post. I too, along with everyone else in the world, have sipped from the cup of sorrow. God is working a miracle in me by beginning to heal all of the hurts that have been inflicted by self or others. There is a simple phrase that I am finding to be life changing: “Hurt people, hurt people.”. I am beginning to understand that the reason people lash out is because they are hurting inside, too. This simple revelation is allowing me to look at my accusers with compassion instead of anger, criticism, and all of the other ugly feelings that accompany a wound. Love truly never fails.
Date: February 25, 2009
Unfortunately, some people just find it easier to be cruel and unkind. And, as you say, it’s all too easy to be influenced by someone else’s opinion of us. So, thank you for this post and your thoughts.
Words can also help heal.
Date: February 25, 2009
I just found your blog through entrecard and I have to say that was the most beautiful, thought-provoking post I’ve read in awhile. Thank you for sharing. God is indeed at work…if we’re willing to look for Him.
Date: February 25, 2009
It seems no matter how “mature” we get in years, we still allow people to have power over us with their words; at least until because of our mature years we can think it through and realize they have their own motivations in trying to hurt us, and their words shouldn’t be taken seriously. My husband always says no one can make you feel a certain way – you allow it – don’t give the other person power over you. Easier said than done though – I have always been very thin-skinned (as my mom always used to tell me) and am hurt easily by thoughtless words of others – but at least I recover sooner these days and am more likely to see their selfish motivation rather than forever believing there was truth in their words. It sounds like you have dealt with it in your own way, but the hurt still lingers. People can be so cruel.
Date: February 25, 2009
Wonderful……….
I truly enjoy your writing and photography you are a talented woman…I can feel the love and kindness you give freely, don’t give cruel words a place in your thoughts, I know all too well “easier said than done”…it is sad we woman allow others to make us feel awful…I do think it is how we are wired. It is rare to see a man who is hurt if someone is unkind to him.
Like you.. it takes me a few days to settle myself when something unpleasant has happened…
You know who you are as a woman don’t allow someone to cloud your opinion of yourself!!
Cheers
Date: February 25, 2009
Can only echo what evryone else has said. Keep up the writing – there are many of us who read it but perhaps never make a comment.
Had trouble putting up this post today – a Google error?
Date: February 25, 2009
Great post today! I so connected with what you had to say. I’ve come to find that when others are cruel, it is usually their own issue–but it doesn’t lessen the pain any. And why do we listen to those horrible things and question ourselves?! It’s hard to ignore it, isn’t it? I remember a movie once that asked “why is it that we only remember the bad things people say about us and not the good?” How true.
Date: February 26, 2009
Well, here I am…late to the party…but I wore my evening gown OVER my bathing suit and, frankly, I feel like I look pretty good.
Wouldn’t you know, Blogger failed to alert me in my sidebar that there was a new post here so I just got to thinking tonight…hmmm….been awfully quiet over there…better check in. I don’t know what Blogger’s up to but I hope THEY figure it out pretty soon! All kinds of glitches the past few days.
I wish there was some way I could convey how much it means to me that what I had to say ministered to you in some way.
It is my prayer, truly, that God can USE me. I LOVE to make people laugh but life isn’t always funny. And we all have those deep places, past and present, where we need to be seen and acknowledged; to know someone else is hurting or can feel what we feel, yet we can keep on forging ahead together.
Nothing about the story of my life comes in a neat package. Absolutely nothing. But if all that manure can become fertilizer for growing something beautiful then God has been at work in a MIGHTY way!
Love and blessings to you and I so look forward to having a reminder of you ministering to the little flock in my backyard.
((hugs))
Robynn
Date: February 26, 2009
What a touching and great post. It is so true that physical injuries are so easily overcome when compared to the emotional injury cruel words can cause.
Date: February 26, 2009
Hello everyone! Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comments.
Pam, Welcome to my blog. I’m so glad you stopped by. I loved reading your thoughts. Thank you.
Lady Fi,I appreciate your comments.
Tami, I’m so glad you found me. Thank you so much for your comment.
Chris, Like you,I’m thin skinned but I also recover more quickly.
Azure Island Designs, Thank you. I appreciate all the kind things you have said to me in all my posts.
JC, Google has been going crazy but I think it’s been fixed. Thank you for encouraging me to keep on writing. I really appreciate that.
Lin, Thank you. And, I believe as you have written, it is usually that person’s issue and you are correct, it doesn’t lessen the pain.
Robynn, thanks for stopping by and wearing your evening gown
Shiloh Prairie Farm, I so appreciate your taking the time to leave a comment. Thanks so much!
Date: February 28, 2009